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eDonald Trump will never choose Christy Noem as his running mate. Indeed, she may never have had a real chance, but in the past few weeks her literary efforts have certainly helped make all her dreams of living in government housing, complete with Secret Service details, a stone’s throw from the Oval Office, come true.
Last weekend, in a meeting with the vice president, Trump failed to call Noem to the stage. She it is reported left early. But at least she made it to Mar-a-Lago for a brief name-check by Trump. Two other presumptive vice presidential candidates, Tulsi Gabbard and Ben Carson, failed to even garner a mention. As it happens, like Noah, they have campaign books for sale.
There is no going back, Noem’s memoir, lives in her own hell, the fires of which are fueled by her stunning story of killing Cricket, a 14-month-old dog, and an unnamed goat. The resulting argument will be a tale for the ages, but what’s more amazing is that Noah simply refuses to apologize. In her book, she wrote that if she herself were elected president, the first thing she would do “is make sure Joe Biden’s dog is off the grounds,” adding: “Commander, say hello to Cricket on my behalf. Talk about twisted.
This is not the top table. in The dangerous battle, Carson manages to argue for a nationwide abortion ban at a time when the US has never been more pro-choice, while Trump, trying to escape the political trap, unfurls the banner of states’ rights. Way to read the runes, Dr. Ben.
For love of country is Gabbard’s suggestion of relevance. A former Democratic congresswoman, she is now a regular guest on Fox News. She aims to feed the beast, but may be swallowed by it. Or, more likely, something worse: ignored.
Wellor unadorned self-destruction, Noah wears the crown and will for some time to come. After more than two weeks The Guardian broke the news because of her cruelty to defenseless animals and her desire to flaunt it, she remains in the public eye, a staple of daytime and nighttime television, a spectacle without a clue. On stupid book tourher attempts to sell her work double as an extended act of self-immolation.
When you get your seven-year-old to ask, “Where’s the cricket?”—and then print the tale in a mass-market hardback—you’ve got a problem. But when it’s revealed that in order to commit the story to print, you overrode the objections of editors and advisers, you’re walking where most candidates dare not.
A A politician headline burst: Christy Noem’s team told her to cancel the dog story two years ago. The site added: “That would violate the first rule of campaign memoir: Do no harm.”
Some publicity is just bad. Ask Trump about the Access Hollywood tape, the groping of women that nearly cost him the election in 2016. He also went overboard with the “best sex ever” gambit regarding a New York Post headline about his extramarital affairs. Trump now spends his days as a criminal defendant on trial thanks to alleged affairs, gas leaks and receiving contempt sanctions and the threat of prison.
Noah has not progressed that far. But with her murder story ringing through the ages when it came down to a completely separate unprovoked mistake, even her publisher threw her to the wolves.
“At Governor Noem’s request, we are removing a passage about Kim Jong-un from her book No Going Back after reprinting the print edition and as soon as possible in the audio and electronic editions.” Center Street announced. “Further questions about the passage should be referred to the author.”
Such questions may not receive clear answers. Noem refuses to say she has never met the North Korean dictator. Pro tip: visiting England doesn’t mean you’ve had tea with the king.
Campaign tracking books often come with awkward subtitles. Noem’s is: The truth about what’s wrong with politics and how we move America forward. Catchy. Carson is not to be outdone. Under his own cheery banner — Overcoming Our Culture’s War on the American Family — the retired neurosurgeon, 2016 Republican primary contender and former U.S. Housing Secretary offers soulful eremiads and questionable announcements. Other than that… not much to help his cause.
Carson calls for national abortion ban writing: “The battle for the lives of unborn children is not over yet. The practice continues in many other countries.”
Put another way, Carson thinks it’s time for New York to be more like Mississippi. Polling and election results show that this is not a popular position.
after the promotion of the newsletter
Carson’s book cover was decorated by Tucker Carlson and Franklin Graham. Tucker will Tucker. Billy Graham’s son has threatened Americans with God’s wrath if they criticize Trump. Mary Miller, a member of Congress from Illinois, also praised Carson, offering this nugget of wisdom: “It is important to resist the awakening cultural tide of work to dilute the importance of the traditional family, and I applaud Dr. Carson for this appeal attention to this problem.”
It’s always worth repeating Miller once said this: “Hitler was right about one thing. He said, “He who has the youth has the future.”
Carson dedicates his book to “the strong traditional families that provide the solid foundation of our nation.” He criticizes pornography, but is of course silent on Stormy Daniels, the adult film star, and Karen McDougal, the Playboy model, who claim to have had affairs with Trump.
Last and youngest of the three VP candidates, Gabbard delivers an awkward mix of memoir and putter. She grew up in Hawaii and served in Iraq. Her father was a Republican until he became a Democrat. Convenience can be a family brand.
In 2020, Gabbard ran against Joe Biden for the Democratic presidential nomination, then endorsed him. Now she carries the man’s staff and her old group’s flamethrower. Predictably, she attacked Hillary Clinton over comments about Gabbard and Russia. Once again, Gabbard gets his facts wrong. Clinton never called her a “Russian asset.”
Gabbard reportedly turned down an offer to become Robert Kennedy Jr.’s vice president. She won’t be Trump’s vice president, but a cabinet spot isn’t out of the question.
ZIn general, campaign books aim to both show enough leg and sanitize the candidate’s ambition, seeking to make the opponent interesting without giving too much away. But such memoirs can still say and do much.
Consider The Audacity of Hope, Barack Obama’s 2006 political creed used to develop themes that would underpin his White House run in 2008. Promise Me Daddy, Biden’s memoir, smoothed his image as a warm uncle, put the memory of Beau Biden, his late son, front and center and provided a foundation for success in 2020.
Now, on the Republican side, JD Vance is the leading contender for Trump’s VP pick. His memoir Hillbilly Elegy, published in 2016, brought him to national prominence and eventually a seat in the Ohio Senate. Noem, Carson and Gabbard are nowhere near this league.
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